$63.62

Well, I can add another notch in my "adulthood" belt—I've now dealt with an aggressive collection agency! The details of my problem are somewhat involved, and I won't go into it here, but let it suffice to say that I'm not happy with Cingular Wireless right now. In order to get $63.62 out of me, the collection agency called my parents, then threatened me, lied to me, and were generally unpleasant. The collection agency is staffed entirely by angry black people in Texas. It appears that all the men at the collection agency say that their name is "Jameson." I suspect that this name was chosen to give alcoholic debtors a warm, comfortable feeling. ("Mmmm.... Jameson....") The best part about dealing with the collection agency: when I called a second time to pay the money, the exchange was quiet, civil, and polite—but in the background I could hear this woman absolutely screaming to some other poor person: "WHY DO YOU THINK I'M CALLING YOU, THEN? YOU EXPLAIN TO ME WHY I'M CALLING YOU! HUNH!"

I would like to imagine she was screaming at a lonely elderly woman who got behind on her payments for her Craftmatic adjustable bed because of the high cost of her heart medication. I have caught a furtive glimpse at the dark underbelly of American capitalism, folks.