"But.. but..."
Puffy-Faced Gatwick Immigration Officer: (in abrasive East London accent) How long will you be in the UK?
Me: My vistor visa is about to run out, but I'd like permission to stay for three months.
Puffy-Faced Gatwick Immigration Officer: WELL YOU'RE NOT GETTIN' IT FROM ME! APPLY TO THE HOME OFFICE. (violently stamps passport)
Me: *blink* *blink*
Puffy-Faced Gatwick Immigration Officer: PLEASE EXIT THROUGH THE DOOR ON YOUR LEFT.
I can sort this out, everyone. No problem.
Me: My vistor visa is about to run out, but I'd like permission to stay for three months.
Puffy-Faced Gatwick Immigration Officer: WELL YOU'RE NOT GETTIN' IT FROM ME! APPLY TO THE HOME OFFICE. (violently stamps passport)
Me: *blink* *blink*
Puffy-Faced Gatwick Immigration Officer: PLEASE EXIT THROUGH THE DOOR ON YOUR LEFT.
I can sort this out, everyone. No problem.
posted by Grrg at 5:35 PM
4 Comments:
What a jerk!
I hope someone else is nicer to you!
Hey Greg,
The guy was an asshole, but do skip the "abrasive East London accent" bit! Sounds like you may have absorbed a few class prejudices. Full disclosure: all my British relatives are East Londoners, and while I sometimes don't know what they're saying, they're all pretty nice folks. Hope things work out with the visa.
- D.P. in Seattle
I don't think I agree with D.P.: the man could have had an "abrasive American accent" or an "abrasive Norwegian accent" just as easily, with no particular offense to Americans or Norwegians in general. The phrase "abrasive Immigration Officer with an East London accent" is more awkward and, ultimately, less descriptive.
But the point is, what are you going to do? Croydon? £500??
- Y.S., also in Seattle
Yes, be careful Gregory. Everything I know about East London I learned from Anthony Newley and your blog. Okay, so that's two things I know, and one of them is fictional and the other is not good.
Except that "Isle of Dogs" is the coolest name for anything anywhere ever.
Glad to read you've lost weight. I haven't. But I did read an article in the guardian about how Ricky Gervais and someone named "Johnny Vegas" are 'secretly sexy' to straight women. Not to gay men, mind you. Oh, no. no. no. no. no. That would be asking quite a bit, I think. But at least to straight women.
So it's almost like I lost weight, epistemologically.
Anyway, reading that article was much, much easier than jogging. And, I could eat a corndog while doing it. which is pretty sweet.
Post a Comment
<< Home