Last Night's Anxiety Dream
I actually meant to write here ages ago about my most vivid anxiety dream from before the jaunt to Rome, which involved little zombie-children. I mean, six-year-olds who'd been turned into zombies, or something. And were eating people. And chasing me.
Last night's anxiety dream was much tamer -- it involved the suspicion that my bag (my little yellow man-purse, to be precise) was continually being rifled through by strangers. I would set the bag down, and then look at it a moment later to find that everything had been taken out and rearranged. At one point my baby-blanket was in the bag, and then later I found the blanket laying out in open somewhere else. And I'm all like "Hey! That's my baby-blanket! Leave it inside the bag!"
The baby-blanket represents all my ignorance of Italian opera, ignorance which I fear will be ripped out and exposed for all to see tomorrow. I have never even looked at the score of Marino Faliero. I ran out of time to even read the Bini/Commons material for Poliuto and Martyrs. Damn.
In the real world, as opposed to in my subconscious, I gave a practice run of the talk yesterday, and it went well. I'm optimistic about the talk, actually. And honestly, being forced to make the ideas presentable has forced me to think in a much more directed way about what this chapter will look like in the end, and how to go about completing it. (Looking at Marino Faliero is on the list...)
After some discussion after the pratice talk, I convinced myself that one of the main points in the paper is... well, not wrong exactly, but in need of serious qualification and equivocation. It's basically a matter of replacing "is" with "tends to be" in a few sentences. And I have, what?, almost 24 hours for final edits? No problem.
My ex-boyfriend is getting paid $1000 to fly to SF, watch Dr Atomic, and write an article about it. Fuck you, ex-boyfriend. I hate you.
Also, my high-school drama teacher just died. This is very, very sad.
Last night's anxiety dream was much tamer -- it involved the suspicion that my bag (my little yellow man-purse, to be precise) was continually being rifled through by strangers. I would set the bag down, and then look at it a moment later to find that everything had been taken out and rearranged. At one point my baby-blanket was in the bag, and then later I found the blanket laying out in open somewhere else. And I'm all like "Hey! That's my baby-blanket! Leave it inside the bag!"
The baby-blanket represents all my ignorance of Italian opera, ignorance which I fear will be ripped out and exposed for all to see tomorrow. I have never even looked at the score of Marino Faliero. I ran out of time to even read the Bini/Commons material for Poliuto and Martyrs. Damn.
In the real world, as opposed to in my subconscious, I gave a practice run of the talk yesterday, and it went well. I'm optimistic about the talk, actually. And honestly, being forced to make the ideas presentable has forced me to think in a much more directed way about what this chapter will look like in the end, and how to go about completing it. (Looking at Marino Faliero is on the list...)
After some discussion after the pratice talk, I convinced myself that one of the main points in the paper is... well, not wrong exactly, but in need of serious qualification and equivocation. It's basically a matter of replacing "is" with "tends to be" in a few sentences. And I have, what?, almost 24 hours for final edits? No problem.
My ex-boyfriend is getting paid $1000 to fly to SF, watch Dr Atomic, and write an article about it. Fuck you, ex-boyfriend. I hate you.
Also, my high-school drama teacher just died. This is very, very sad.
posted by Grrg at 6:26 PM
2 Comments:
I'm seeing Dr. A twice next week. But alas, I won't even attempt to write a review.
OH, and remember a certain John R. that we were mutual friends with (well me, mostly just a friend and you mostly a friend for the evening the night you met me at GQB?)--anyway, he's moving to London. Fancy that.
Being paid $1000 might almost have made that irretrievable loss of 3 hours and 10 minutes of my life worthwhile....
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